Coming to rest, relaxation and returning to your essential easeful self from a yoga perspective. The Book of Rest by James Reeves and Gabrielle Brown provides some welcome suggestions and a lot of food for thought (or rather, for rest).
I recently joined the local library (I think for the first time since university) and was amazed by the number of books on a huge variety of subjects available through the network. So the question was, what to borrow first? Without a particular process, although considering something on the topic of yoga nidra or yogic sleep, I stumbled across this book and though "yep, that's the one".
It could be something to do with an inner call I had recently for more restful rest. Despite having a regular yoga and meditation practice, a regular bedtime and sleep routine and the capacity to switch off when I needed to (which I think is fairly rare), I'd been having the experience of simply feeling absolutely knackered. My energy levels and work capacity were definitely not right, my ability to focus was all over the place and my anxiety was starting to ramp up. A good time to investigate new ways to approach rest.
Outline of the book
The Book of Rest wasn't quite what I expected. The authors (both yoga teachers who've spent extensive time studying and practicing in traditional yoga ashrams in India) take us through a journey from the more practical aspects of rest with chapters 'What is rest?' and 'Why are we restless?' but very quickly develop into more subtle and esoteric explorations of the topic, which are in my opinion both welcome and useful, but I think I was expecting something more prosaic.
Chapters on rest and happiness, rest and control and rest and your self thoughtfully tie in with concepts and techniques which people with a yoga practice will already recognise and be familiar with. Finally we come to rest and sleep (a contentious area for many) right at the end of the book.
Throughout the book there are 17 'enquiries' which are exercises or meditations that the reader is gently encouraged to do at their own pace. These also build from one another throughout the book, so it's possible to incorporate them into your practice and keep working on them long after the reading is done.
What I like about this book
The Book of Rest helps us approach many of the areas around rest and, by proxy, meditation, which can be really difficult. For example, the way that the authors gently explain the business of the mind, its seemingly incessant analysing, planning and ruminating as simply the part of ourselves that does that job, is a refreshing approach.
How many of us have spent time in meditation or in bed at night trying to 'quiet the mind' and simply ending up with a frustrating torrent of tangential thoughts?
The Book of Rest introduces the idea that it's not the mind's job to be quiet, in fact quite the opposite. So maybe we don't need to be upset if it won't shut up when we're trying to make it so. It's a part of us which is doing its job, often very well.
In fact, trying to make it quiet might be the problem, as it's an action, and rest is a lack of action (no-thing). This also struck a chord.
The following passage really made me think about how unrestful some of my meditation sessions have seemed, as I already realised that whilst I can make the thoughts stop with some kind of practiced force, it doesn't really seem beneficial:
'We can't think ourselves into not thinking. At most, you may have 'held' your thoughts in the same way that you might hold your breath. There are activities that can 'control the mind' to a certain extent... but while it may me possible to create conditions for the mind to focus... we're still 'doing' something (not resting)... We may experience a pause but it's not a natural pause (we might even be suppressing our mind, only to have it fight back harder later'
The authors characterise rest as (often spontaneous) pauses between thoughts, periods of 'not thinking', of doing nothing, 'experiencing the ultimate holiday'. And these are moments which I believe we can all relate to, however stressed or anxious or prone to overthinking we are, we've all had some moments of naturally doing nothing. We're all naturally capable of rest to some degree, which seems very reassuring even in those moments when we feel like we cannot rest.
I particularly enjoyed the way that The Book of Rest goes on to explore how a deeper knowledge of being is available through rest and rested states. For example, the way that Einstein used naps to grasp ideas that eluded his waking mind, or how when we find a way of letting go of the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves we can often find a more meaningful understanding (e.g. you stop thinking about that important thing that's been bothering you and then you have a sudden deep insight on the situation when in the shower or doing the washing up).
The book contains a considered section with regards to anxiety and panic attacks. In my experience, during a panic attack, but desperately wishing not to be having one, along with not wanting to accept the uncomfortable feelings and situation that led up to it, makes the whole thing more difficult to get out of. And the authors describe this very well, how the resistance to the issues and the situation generally worsen the feelings of panic and helplessness.
When we are doing, doing, doing, we're more in the state of denial and running away from our feelings and issues. When we take rest, we have the opportunity to stand apart from them and see them for what they are. Suddenly they're not so overwhelming, now we don't have to do anything with them or about them. This resonated a lot with my own emotional healing experiences and is something I think many people will benefit from experiencing too.
Things I found more challenging
The Book of Rest is based on a very liberating idea that everybody has an inherently restful state already built in and awaiting activation (or inactivation, if you like). The authors don't shy away from introducing this premise early on.
However, having been through a number of very stressful life events and experiences, not to mention knowing folks who suffer from insomnia, I can see how this would turn a lot of people off from reading the rest of the book. It might seem like a denial of reality- when we're feeling so tired, so stressed, so wrung out that we just can't relax, how can anyone say that rest is just the flip of a mental switch away?
Again, this is where the book differs from what I expected- it doesn't give us a formula to find the inner restful state. Instead it gives the enquiries or jumping off points from which you may experience something they are describing. There are no guarantees.
On the subject of the 'enquiries', I enjoyed trying them and will take a few of the ideas away for continued practice. I've been working with yoga and mediation for some years now so they seem pretty accessible to me. I did wonder if this would be the case for everybody though. I'm a prime example, when it comes to most self-development books, of reading through the exercises and thinking "like hell I'm going to actually do that" as soon as it gets a bit convoluted. Instructions like hang out there as long as it feels right would definitely not have floated my boat in years gone by (I mean at times, literally nothing felt right). Finding rest in the space between breaths (enquiry 7) is really difficult when you're chronically anxious and took me a lot of past meditation practice to get the hang of. It's totally worth it though, especially when managing anxiety- I considered this a challenging point though for anyone coming to The Book of Rest who's not already started down this road.
I also realised that I really struggle to remember the written instructions for a meditation, so it would be great if there had been a guided version to go with the book.
It's fair to say that I'm not a big fan of affirmations as I've often observed (and experienced in myself) the way they can be 'toxic positivity', used to gloss over the reality of a feeing or a situation. A loud assertion of the importance of workplace culture has been used to obscure a poor workplace culture in more than one job I've had. Reminding yourself how fortunate you are to have certain privileges and opportunities should not be used to deny that sometimes it's bloody hard and you feel rubbish. That way madness lies (literally, I've been there).
So I struggled a bit with the section on 'turning phrases round' (e.g. this pain will not go away/is it true that the pain will never go away?/How do I feel when I consider that the pain might go away?) because, although it's aimed at giving us alternatives ('opposites') to consider rather than being stuck in one way of thinking or feeling about it, I know that the healthiest way for me personally to deal with that situation (being in pain) runs something like "yes I'm in bloody pain and that's actually real and valid and I'm allowed to feel awful because it's awful and it's OK for me to deal with it howeverI need to". But perhaps that's an artefact of my own personal journey and other people will find the book's approach more beneficial!
Would I recommend this book?
On the whole I really enjoyed The Book of Rest and it has given me a few lovely reflections for my own practice and for teaching yoga. It really made me think about how our British culture doesn't value rest and this leads to poorer mental health and productivity. It made me think about how at times my yoga practice has been very 'doing' or goal orientated, even when I'm not physically jumping about, rather than restful and exploratory. I would definitely recommend this book to folks who have some experience and regular practice of yoga and meditation.
If you're not that experienced but would still like to get the benefit of some of the ideas and explorations included in The Book of Rest, why not book a class with me either online or in person to be guided through them?
What am I reading next?
The next book review will be The Yoga Effect: A proven programme for depression and anxiety by Liz Owen. Naturally the topic of the book is very close to my own heart and yoga practice so I look forward to sharing my insights and feedback!
Have you read The Book of Rest? What did you think, like or struggle with? Let me know in the comments!
-let life flow-
Emmalene
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